It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
