Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
