I must be too annoying 4 u.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
