We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you traded sex for a burrito?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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