You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
