brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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