girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
