I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
