i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
