I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
