I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
MIDGETS
????
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
