Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
