I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
They should really pass out barf bags in church
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
