lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
