I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
