brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
