Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
