I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
