did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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