Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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