If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
