If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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