new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
