remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well you can't waste a boner
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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