im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
