I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
