my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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