sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
