remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
