Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
