I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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