Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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