There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
