I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
