Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
