Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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