and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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