we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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