So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
