Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
