yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
