He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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