hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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