you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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