I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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