So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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