just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
