Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
