are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
