It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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