I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
