a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
