Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
